雅思大作文主体段论据展开方法谈

雅思大作文主体段论据展开方法谈（下）
 
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二、先原因后举例
 
在上一个章节中我们已经初步掌握了2套论据展开方法，在本章节里，笔者将会继续介绍第2套方法同时再给出其他方式：
 
Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to deal with. Others, however, think that each individual should take some actions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
 
There are, however, obstacles that stand in the way of individual action towards environmental conservation. The first obstacle is the lack of professional knowledge needed to cope with serious environmental issues. This is because some of these problems are too big for ordinary people to handle. For instance, issues like soil erosion and salinity require a significant amount of investigation and research. Another obstacle which makes individual action almost impossible is when an environmental emergency or accident happens, e.g. an oil spill near the border line, which would necessitate government intervention or even international coordination.
 
在论证个人的力量无法对环境问题做出贡献时，作者给出了2个分论点，一个是说个人缺乏应对严重环境问题的知识。在论证此论点时，他也是先给出了原因，然后马上就这个原因举例。我们不妨可以进行一下对比，假如在论点后直接举例，会存在一个问题：“...with serious environmental issues such as soil erosion and salinity that require a ...”就是加上分论点后整个句子太长。尽管适当地使用长句对于获得的同学来说是必要的，但是这样容易走入一个误区，即尝试将每个句子都写长，而且对于一些英语语法还不是非常扎实的考生来说还容易写错，所以得不偿失。所以采用“原因”加“举例”的顺序有利于论证的循序渐进。接着我们来看第二个分论点，作者采用的是我们上个章节介绍的种展开方式，即举例加结果。在同一个主体段中，我们可以将不同的扩展顺序进行组合，一般来说，若段落中所有的分论点没有主次之分，那么每个论点都需要有一定深度的论证；而当出现次要论点时，我们的论证就可以相对简单一点，甚至可以不用论证。
 
三、举例加结果再加举例
 
这样的论证顺序比较适合想要得的考生。举例加结果是种论证顺序组合，在上一章节里已经有详细的介绍，而在此基础上的举例则需要考生能够充分挖掘分论点的特征，从不同层面或者不同角度再给出一个例子，从而增强论证的深度和广度。以下我们来看一个实例：
 
Individual actions, small as they may be, can prove more effective than we realize. We can avoid driving the car, and take public transit, walk, or bicycle instead. This will reduce the use of fossil fuels and cut pollution. Saving energy at home, like turning on the air conditioner only when we have to, or turning water heater down a few degrees, is also ultimately good for the environment. Individual actions can also turn into united powers when, for example, the whole neighborhood is mobilized to participate in a local campaign to oppose environmentally damaging policies.
 
首先在这个主体段中作者需要论证的有2个分论点，即“个人行为尽管可能很小，但是可以取得比我们预期更大的效果”和“个人行为可以转变为一股巨大的力量”。而作者在排列时将个分论点作为主论点而第二个作为次论点。所以在论证时，个分论点的论证内容就自然要多于第二个论点的论证。这时候，采用这样的论据展开方式非常适合。从举例到结果再举例的过程，已经将个分论点进行了充分的论证：“比如我们可以减少开车的次数，多坐公交”（举例）——“所以可以减少能源消耗和降低污染”（结果）——“在家节能诸如有需要时才开空调和将热水器温度调低几度”（举例）这样的论证顺序。在个举例结果给出以后，继续通过举例来“深化”分论点。值得一提的是，我们再举第二个例子时，一般要注意内容选择的差异性，即和前面的例子选择不同的方面。在围绕这个分论点的论证时，我们不难发现个举例是从交通出行方面展开，而后面的举例则是围绕家庭生活展开，这样举例的好处在于“性”，这种思路非常适合的同学。而在主论点论证完毕后，第二个分论点作者仅仅是给出了一个举例就结束了本段的论证，这样的详略安排十分合适，因此借鉴价值很大。
 
Media violence is another threat. Today, many TV programs or video games contain detailed depiction regarding robbery and murder. Some youngsters, especially boys, are therefore more likely to imitate these behaviors and prone to commit crimes. Some computer games also tell stories happening in an evil world where the only way to win is to kill others and climb to a higher level.
 
在本段中为了论证“媒体暴力”这一负面影响，作者同样采用了这种组合方式，而电视和游戏的举例分别代表了不同的媒体类别。总之，通过这样的组合论证，我们要获得的效果就是论点的深度和广度，同时也为了丰富句型的组合提供了更多的发挥空间。